Dear Control Freak,
You have taken the first big step with any personal challenge and that is, “owning it”. In order to improve a behavioral pattern we have to first be aware of it, the second step is to make a plan of action. Most of our problems do not stem from what we do not know, they manifest from doing nothing. Below are some suggestions that should help:

1. Open your mind to other people’s opinions and ideas – your way is not the only way.
2. Wait, breathe, and think before you respond – this gives you a window of opportunity to mitigate a situation without regrets.
3. Practice self-observation and keep a journal – this helps you to “see” yourself from an outsider’s perspective so you can correct mistakes.
4. Set one goal at a time for yourself – changing a long-time behavioral pattern takes time, so be patient and try not to get overwhelmed.
5. Set up accountability partners – confide in 1 to 3 trusted people about your new goals and give them permission to hold you accountable to the behavior changes you have set for yourself.

Changing anything takes time, but staying focused, developing a plan, and surrounding yourself with accountability partners will keep you on track. Following these steps will relieve stress on yourself and your business colleagues, plus give you more fulfillment in your life. Now how do I get a hold of some of the cilantro pesto?

TIP:
Have you missed previous articles from Coach Michelle? Go to forwardvirginia.com/coachmichelle to catch them all. Or visitmsbcoach.com, or call 434-293-5758 to reignite your business passion.

For an individual to be whole and complete is a challenge because no matter how hard we try to maintain balance, life is always changing. Life brings unexpected complications and opportunities. As a leader we want to become aware of how we best maintain balance and live an integrated life. A holistic leader is self-aware and understands their values and what drives them. A holistic leader knows there is harmony to maintain between both the mind and body as well as relationships, finances, community and spiritual being.

As a leader people are looking to you to maintain symmetry. They do not expect you to be perfect, but they do need their leader to know who they are and live a life that sets an example holistically: body (taking care of your physical body -eating healthy, exercise, and rest), soul (mind, will and emotions) and spirit.

Here are a few things you can do to lead holistically:

1. Know who you are and were you come from

2. Know what your values are and how they tie into your life story – this will help you prioritize

3. Know what motivates you both intrinsically and extrinsically

4. Know how to take care of yourself emotionally , mentally and physically and the importance of valuing and prioritizing these components

5. Be aware of relationships and the value they play in who you are

6. Identify what is important to you spiritually and be true to that

7. Practice financial awareness and balance this with your extrinsic motivations

8. Build a support and accountability group to help you practice being holistic and authentic.

Michelle Braden

Here in America we define ourselves and those around us by what we do. Think about the first question we ask after introducing yourselves…. “So where do you work?” and “what do you do there?” In part, this is good small talk. We naturally ask these questions in succession. The other part has to do with sizing people up. We determine before we even get to know someone whether we think they are successful or not based on how they answer these questions. Is it any wonder why we personally define ourselves on this same measurement? This type of stereotyping begs the question many are now facing, what happens when what we “do” is done away with? What happens when companies go bankrupt, jobs are outsourced, people are downsized or laid off? How then will we define ourselves, our friends, colleagues or family members? Although what we do is obviously important we have to learn a better self-awareness of who we are being. Who we are “being” is who we are, our character, values, beliefs and passions. It is not determined by titles, salary or prestige. To discover who we really are beyond the titles we hold is a challenge. Think for a minute about who you are…. If I asked you to describe yourself could you do so without talking about what you do? The goal is that who we are being works collaboratively with what we do but it does not define us. I recently asked a client of mine while working through the “being” vs. “doing” question, “how would you respond if you lost your job for one reason or another and the only thing you could find was working at a fast food restaurant wiping down tables?” His answer was the best I have ever gotten. He said, “well I guess I would have to work hard and rise to the top in that industry!” Now that is knowing who you are being no matter what you are doing! I want to encourage you whether you are in the most secure position you have ever been in or if you are having to re-define yourself due to job loss – search yourself to know who you are being in this world. Here are some suggestions as you go through this process: Be insightfully straight with yourself. What transformations do you want? What are your personal values, passions, beliefs? Write a paper about who you are. Write a paper about who you want to be. Be in your possibilities. Dream! This can be an eye opening experience if you allow it to be. We would love to hear your feedback on this exercise and if it was beneficial…. As always if you are interested in further assistance or coaching don’t hesitate to give us a call at 804-502-4319/434-293-5758 or info@msbcoach.com.

This blog in no way is intended to be political in nature or reflect on any one person in leadership.  I am just putting some thoughts out there in the world I have been pondering regarding the importance of character/integrity vs. ability.

If asked which is more important I would have always said… character and integrity any day.  However, recently I found myself pondering this.  I have been reading “The 8^th Habit” by Stephen Covey and he addresses this issue.  In one of the chapters he posed the question “who would you rather have working on you…. a mediocre surgeon who has character and is honest or the best surgeon who has poor character and is dishonest.”  Wow I had to think about this… which led me to think about a lot of things….

We like to think things are black and white and there definitely things that are.  Unfortunately the more you mull over a thought, the older you get and the more people you meet – you realize there is so much grey.  This frustrates me… I like the black and white.  It seems to make decisions easier.

Last night when our former President Bush gave his welcome speech in TX he said, “Popularity is fleeting, but character and integrity are our oaks….”  So I started thinking about this regarding our country.  Would I rather have a leader who can make me successful or one that has integrity… why can’t we have both?  I think we can and I think this what we are finally hungry for in America…. enough with the empty promises.  I think when it is all said and done I would still rather have character, honor and truthfulness.  What about you, I would love to hear your thoughts on my quandary….

This blog in no way is intended to be political in nature or reflect on any one person in leadership.  I am just putting some thoughts out there in the world I have been pondering regarding the importance of character/integrity vs. ability.

If asked which is more important I would have always said… character and integrity any day.  However, recently I found myself pondering this.  I have been reading “The 8^th Habit” by Stephen Covey and he addresses this issue.  In one of the chapters he posed the question “who would you rather have working on you…. a mediocre surgeon who has character and is honest or the best surgeon who has poor character and is dishonest.”  Wow I had to think about this… which led me to think about a lot of things….

We like to think things are black and white and there definitely things that are.  Unfortunately the more you mull over a thought, the older you get and the more people you meet – you realize there is so much gray.  This frustrates me… I like the black and white.  It seems to make decisions easier.

Last night when our former President Bush gave his welcome speech in TX he said, “Popularity is fleeting, but character and integrity are our oaks….”  So I started thinking about this regarding our country.  Would I rather have a leader who can make me successful or one that has integrity… why can’t we have both?  I think we can and I think this what we are finally hungry for in America…. enough with the empty promises.  I think when it is all said and done I would still rather have character, honor and truthfulness.  What about you, I would love to hear your thoughts on my quandary….

Michelle Black/Braden

Life/Business Coach, wife and mother of two teenagers

www.msbcoach.com

The dilemma of what to have for dinner….  Am I the only one that get’s stressed when it comes to making the weekly dinner menu?  Why, as the mom, is it our responsibility to be continuously creative with this daunting task?  I know those of you who love to cook, (or you few men who do the cooking in your home) feel as though I am being sacrilegious here; however, I know I can’t be the only mom who finds this a chore.  Cooking dinner is not as bad as creating the menu…. I am always stuck once I write down, tacos, spaghetti and…. Well I have a tendency to get lost after that.

Pondering this predicament, I created a clever way to get myself out of this responsibility, or at least lessen it.  It also indirectly created family time, taught my children responsibility and life skills.  And to think, I was only looking for a little help.  If your children are infants, this won’t work, but if they are old enough to tell you what they like to eat, they can participate (it does get easier and more fun as they get older). 

I first printed a large calendar for the current month; then I called a family meeting.  I have two kids (13 & 15 at the time).   Each had to choose two nights they would be responsible for cooking dinner.  According to the nights they chose, they had to completely prepare the meal and the other family members were responsible for clean up.  This worked great, and better received than I had imagined. 

I now had two kids cooking four of the seven meals a week, what more could a mom ask?   And if you have a husband or more kids to throw in the mix you may get out of cooking/menu making all together!  The key to success is having each person write on the calendar the meal plan for their nights, make a grocery list of what is needed at the store, and wala…. You have creative help with dinner.

I must be honest there are a few pitfalls to this plan.  The first being (as with anything that is done for the first, oh say million times) it takes practice to be a good cook, so you have to be willing to eat dinners that may not be the best.  The other is holding each person responsible to make their grocery list, cook their meals, and be home in time to do so. 

So give it a try, its fun, promotes family dinners together, life skills of:   making a menu, creating a shopping list, food preparation, clean up, and cooking…. One of the skills my kids have out done me in, but that’s ok because no one has me beat me on tacos or spaghetti making!

Michelle Black/Braden

Life/Business Coach, wife and mother of two teenagers

www.msbcoach.com

The dilemma of what to have for dinner….  Am I the only one that get’s stressed when it comes to making the weekly dinner menu?  Why, as the mom, is it our responsibility to be continuously creative with this daunting task?  I know those of you who love to cook, (or you few men who do the cooking in your home) feel as though I am being sacrilegious here; however, I know I can’t be the only mom who finds this a chore.  Cooking dinner is not as bad as creating the menu…. I am always stuck once I write down, tacos, spaghetti and…. Well I have a tendency to get lost after that.

Pondering this predicament, I created a clever way to get myself out of this responsibility, or at least lessen it.  It also indirectly created family time, taught my children responsibility and life skills.  And to think, I was only looking for a little help.  If your children are infants, this won’t work, but if they are old enough to tell you what they like to eat, they can participate (it does get easier and more fun as they get older). 

I first printed a large calendar for the current month; then I called a family meeting.  I have two kids (13 & 15 at the time).   Each had to choose two nights they would be responsible for cooking dinner.  According to the nights they chose, they had to completely prepare the meal and the other family members were responsible for clean up.  This worked great, and better received than I had imagined. 

I now had two kids cooking four of the seven meals a week, what more could a mom ask?   And if you have a husband or more kids to throw in the mix you may get out of cooking/menu making all together!  The key to success is having each person write on the calendar the meal plan for their nights, make a grocery list of what is needed at the store, and wala…. You have creative help with dinner.

I must be honest there are a few pitfalls to this plan.  The first being (as with anything that is done for the first, oh say million times) it takes practice to be a good cook, so you have to be willing to eat dinners that may not be the best.  The other is holding each person responsible to make their grocery list, cook their meals, and be home in time to do so. 

So give it a try, its fun, promotes family dinners together, life skills of:   making a menu, creating a shopping list, food preparation, clean up, and cooking…. One of the skills my kids have out done me in, but that’s ok because no one has me beat me on tacos or spaghetti making!

1.      The higher an executive advances up the organizational latter, they are less dependent on technical skill and require more effectiveness in interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence.

2.      Coaching is an effective tool for improving the bottom line performance in executives and organizations.

3.      Coaching builds skills and capacities for more effective working relationships.

4.      Coaching paves the way for decision makers to create higher levels of organizational effectiveness through dialogue, inquiry and positive interactions.

5.      Coaching helps identify when teamwork is important; the how and when to apply the skills necessary to foster it.

6.      Coached executives have reported improvements in the following areas:

a.       53% in Productivity

b.      48% in Quality

c.       48% in Organizational Strength

d.      39% in Customer Service

e.       34% in Reducing Customer Complaints

f.        32% in Retaining Executives who Received Coaching

g.       23% in Cost Reductions

h.       22% in Bottom-line Profitability

Research from the Center for Creative Leadership