Help, I’m A Control Freak!

Dear Michelle,
My husband and even my dear friends refer to me as a control freak! I own and operate a catering business, and yes I’ll admit I have a tendency to micro-manage (one time I almost divorced my husband and now ex-chef just because I thought his cilantro pesto was too salty!) How do I break away from my compulsion to control everything while maintaining top notch food service and quality for my clients? – Control Freak in Harrisonburg, VA.

Dear Control Freak,
You have taken the first big step with any personal challenge and that is, “owning it”. In order to improve a behavioral pattern we have to first be aware of it, the second step is to make a plan of action. Most of our problems do not stem from what we do not know, they manifest from doing nothing. Below are some suggestions that should help:

1. Open your mind to other people’s opinions and ideas – your way is not the only way.
2. Wait, breathe, and think before you respond – this gives you a window of opportunity to mitigate a situation without regrets.
3. Practice self-observation and keep a journal – this helps you to “see” yourself from an outsider’s perspective so you can correct mistakes.
4. Set one goal at a time for yourself – changing a long-time behavioral pattern takes time, so be patient and try not to get overwhelmed.
5. Set up accountability partners – confide in 1 to 3 trusted people about your new goals and give them permission to hold you accountable to the behavior changes you have set for yourself.

Changing anything takes time, but staying focused, developing a plan, and surrounding yourself with accountability partners will keep you on track. Following these steps will relieve stress on yourself and your business colleagues, plus give you more fulfillment in your life. Now how do I get a hold of some of the cilantro pesto?

TIP:
Have you missed previous articles from Coach Michelle? Go to forwardvirginia.com/coachmichelle to catch them all. Or visitmsbcoach.com, or call 434-293-5758 to reignite your business passion.

The Singer Has No Passion

My husband and I are in NYC with friends for a bike trip. We all went to a restaurant last night where the servers sing and dance. We discovered this place at Christmas. It is amazing. We met up with a group of 5 other people and went in to be entertained.
About half way through our meal, one of the singers got up, like all the others, this singer had an amazing voice BUT something was not there. The friend next to me said, “Something is missing… he is not connecting with the audience.” I then realized the talent was there, but there was no connection or passion. He was singing, but his heart was someplace else.
It is amazing the difference in how you feel as a listener. Others, who sang, did not have the voice quality he did but, did have passion and connection. In the overall experience, they were the ones we wanted to hear again. They were the ones who made us feel important, like they were there for us.
The conversation turned to the aspect of what we are looking for as humans. I of course, with my affection and dedication to compare everything to leadership did just that. I reflected on how people want a leader who connects with them, they want a leader who they feel is devoted and passionate. Just like the singers, it was the ones we felt “linked” to through their stage relationship to us as an audience that won our affection. So it is with leaders, people are lot looking for you to be perfect. No one is perfect. They are looking for a leader who is real, passionate, dedicated and engaged.
How about you, what are you looking for in a leader?